Since I skipped a couple of days on this challenge I’ll do two more days.
Okay this one is a big one for me. If you know me and you know me well then you know that I was hospitalized my junior year of high school because I was on suicide risk. Certain events in my life lead me to have a mental break down in school and I knew that if I went home that day then I would do something to hurt myself for good. I was some how strong enough to reach out to one of the school consolers and tell her about my thoughts. I was then brought to the hospital where they took an analysis of my health. They told me what I already and knew and more. I have major depression and extreme anxiety. Since I developed depression at such a young age (I can remember having depressing thoughts at 5) I’ll have depression for the rest of my life. I will always have to be medicated, I will always have suicidal thoughts but with medicine they can be repressed. If I stop taking my medicine I have this voice inside of my head that is so negative it tells me to slit my wrists open and other horrible things. So the answer to the question of a time when I thought about ending my own life is always. Right now I have been forgetting to take my medicine so those thoughts have been in the back of my head. With proper therapy and cooping skills I have not acted on them. I’m trying my hardest to not self harm as well that’s another trait I will always carry. Now I have realized how much I need my medicine so I’m starting to take it as much as I can remember. These thoughts are so bad that are helping me to remember to take my medicine. My depression makes me who I am today.
